


What Would Have Been The End

by evelynriese



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Epistolary, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 21:12:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14173500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelynriese/pseuds/evelynriese
Summary: An AU in which Gamzee starts deteriorating a little more slowly, long enough for a close friend to pick up the slack. Three pesterlogs, one per year.





	What Would Have Been The End

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
  
TC: hEy BrO  
TC: bRoThEr  
TC: BeSt FrIeNd?  
TC: karkat.  
TC: MOTHERFUCKING ANSWER ALREADY.  
CG: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM.  
CG: I TAKE FIVE MINUTES TO BE ANYWHERE ELSE ON THIS STONE HELL FOR A MINUTE AND THE PERSON I'M SPENDING TIME WITH STARTS COMPLAINING THAT MY CRAB IS TICKLING HER.  
CG: MAYBE IT IS TOO MUCH TO ASK OF YOU TO IMAGINE SINCE YOUR CREEPY CLOWN HABIT ABSOLUTELY REPULSES EVERYONE TO BEGIN WITH BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE TOLD THAT.  
CG: IN THESE EXACT WORDS. TC: lOoK bRo  
TC: Im SoRrY aBoUt GeTtInG aLl Up On YoUr GrIlL hErE  
TC: tRuTh Is IvE nOt BeEn FeElInG fReSh  
TC: NoT fUcKiNg FrEsH aT aLl  
CG: OF COURSE.  
CG: MAKES TOTAL SENSE THAT YOU WOULD COME TO ME WITH THIS.  
CG: KARKAT. THE METEOR'S PRIME SOURCE OF FRESHNESS.  
TC: ThAtS wHaT iM tAlKiNg AbOuT bRo :o)  
CG: FUCK YOU AND FUCK WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT. JUST TELL ME ALREADY SO I CAN GET RID OF THE CRAB.  
TC: ThErE iS nO mOrE sLiMe  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO MORE SLIME.  
TC: YoU kNoW  
TC: tHe WiCkEd GrEeN sTuFf  
TC: ThE oOzE wE sLeEp In  
TC: ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg SoPoR sLiMe  
CG: THE MOTHERFUCKING SOPOR SLIME.  
TC: YeAh BrO :o)  
CG: FINE.  
CG: IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO GET YOU TO CHILL OUT.  
CG: HOLD ON A MOMENT. I'M LOOKING THE CODE UP.  
CG: SLIMEMAN.  
TC: tHaTs NoT nIcE fRiEnD :o(  
CG: THAT'S THE CODE YOU ASSHOLE.  
CG: IF YOU ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE ME YOU ARE NOT CURRENTLY HIGH ON THE STUFF YOU ARE FAILING SPECTULARLY. DRAMATICALLY.  
TC: dOnT wOrRy AbOuT iT  
TC: iM gOiNg To PeRfOrM sOmE mOthErFuCkiNg MiRaClEs  
TC: AlChEmY tO mAkE tHe MeSsIaHs PrOuD  
TC: tHaNks AgAiN bRo  
  
terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

* * *

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]  
  
CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU.  
CG: DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY. I AM IMMENSELY PLEASED WITH THE STATE OF OUR HUMBLE METEOR.  
CG: QUIET AND UNSTAINED BY UNSPEAKABLY GARISH CLOWN FACEPAINT.  
CG: I'M ALSO WORRIED.  
TC: ItS aLl PeAcHy  
TC: I wIlL jUsT bE iN tHe VeNtS fOr A lItTlE  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE IN THE VENTS.  
CG: YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR A WEEK.  
TC: nO nEeD tO MaKe A bIg MoThErFuCkInG dEaL oUt Of ThIs  
TC: SoMeTiMeS yOu JuSt NeEd To Be In A sMaLl DaRk SpAcE  
TC: yOuR oWn MiNiAtUrE dArK cArNiVaL  
TC: aLsO  
TC: iTs nOt lIkE I DoN'T PoP OuT EvErY NoW AnD ThEn :o)  
CG: THIS IS CREEPING ME OUT.  
CG: YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT.  
TC: HeRe iS HoW I SeE It  
TC: AlL MoThErFuCkInG FuCkInG PrOpHeTiC MeSsIaH StYlE  
TC: tHiS CoNvErSaTiOn iS A WiCkEd lAbYrInTh oF MiRrOrS ReFlEcTiNg aLl yOuR IlLuSiOnS BaCk aT YoU  
TC: sEeMs yOu aRe sTuCk iN A DaRk cArNiVaL Of yOuR OwN My fRiEnD  
TC: hAvE YoU LeFt yOuR RoOm sInCe tHaT MeSs wItH ThAt ChIcK  
CG: WOW. ANOTHER BLOW TO THE FUCKING CODPIECE. I'M DEVASTATED.  
CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT AT THE VERY LEAST YOUR FEEBLE PSYCHE CAN GRASP THAT I ONLY DID THIS TO GIVE HER DISTANCE.  
TC: wOuLdN'T ThInK AnYtHiNg eLsE BrO  
TC: iM iN ThE SaMe pOsItIoN  
TC: tHe jOkEr fItS BoTh oF OuR HaNdS  
TC: yOu kNoW ThAt i gEt aLl cRaZy wHeNeVeR I GeT OfF ThE SlImE  
TC: rEmEmBeR WhAt tHaT CrAp wAs fOr  
TC: ShIeLdInG OuR MiNdS FrOm tHe wIcKeD ThInGs pRyInG OuRsElVeS InTo oUr mInD MaN  
TC: iTs gOnE FoR ThE ReSt oF OuR GaNg bUt nOt fOr mE  
TC: sO Im sTaYiNg iN ThE VeNtS  
CG: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.  
CG: I'M NOT SURE IF YOU COULD BE LESS CLEAR IF YOU MADE A CLEAR AND CONSCIOUS EFFORT. THEN AGAIN YOU ARE UNCANNILY GOOD AT CLOWNING ME.  
CG: WHATEVER. JUST GET OUT OF THESE VENTS. GO TO MY ROOM FOR ALL I CARE.  
CG: IT'S ALREADY A PILE OF TRASH. MIGHT AS WELL ADD YOU AND ME.  
TC: uNdErStOoD BrOtHeR  
TC: iLl Be ThErE sOoN  
TC: <&mt  
GC: WAIT NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.  
GC: WELL.  
GC: WHATEVER. SOME BLABBERING IDIOT SHOULD BE KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU.  
GC: MIGHT AS WELL INFLICT IT ON MYSELF.  
GC: <&mt  
  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

* * *

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
  
TC: wHaT uP kArKaT  
TC: OnLy OnE yEaR lEfT oN tHiS mIrAcUlOuS jOuRnEy  
TC: We ArE mErE mOmEnTs AwAy FrOm  
TC: JUDGEMENT  
TC: motherfucker.  
CG: NO SHIT.  
CG: SO TELL ME.  
CG: WHAT IS TODAY'S OCCASION FOR YOU TELLING ME ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEW.  
CG: THERE'S ALWAYS A REASON. SPILL IT.  
TC: NoT mUcH oF a ReAsOn  
TC: JuSt A lOt Of BaD vIbEs  
TC: i ThInK iM bUiLdInG a ToLeRaNcE  
CG: I WISH I WAS BUILDING A TOLERANCE.  
GC: UNFORTUNATELY I AM SITTING HERE BOGGLING TIRED AT YOUR SHENANIGANS. UNTOLERATING.  
GC: NOT THAT I'D OBJECT TO YOU EXPLAINING YOURSELF.  
TC: okay.  
TC: LISTEN UP.  
TC: didn't mean to be that aggressive.  
TC: BUT THE SLIME ISN'T DOING SHIT.  
TC: usually everything is just groovy.  
TC: NOT ANYMORE THOUGH.  
TC: these days all i feel is.  
TC: THIS MOTHERFUCKING RAGE.  
GC: OKAY.  
GC: I THINK I GET IT.  
GC: ACTUALLY, I ABSOLUTELY DON'T. THIS IS KIND OF CRAZY.  
GC: BUT I GUESS THAT'S OKAY.  
GC: POINT IS.  
GC: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS EXACTLY. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT.  
GC: BUT I'M STUCK WITH YOU NO MATTER WHAT.  
GC: YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME.  
GC: NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT.  
TC: thank you bro.  
TC: YOU ALWAYS GET ME.  
  
terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

**Author's Note:**

> Birthday present for @Casentine from Tumblr. Six months late, I think? Happy birthday anyway!!!
> 
> I thought the idea as the slime as equivalent to some sort of really heavy fucking medication would be interesting, especially with my experience with really heavy fucking medication. It's probably a little OOC, oh well.


End file.
